Freedom

So everyone in this day and age has become familiar with internet scams. There are some very unlucky ones who have actually fallen victim to these. I do have some sympathy for these people, but they should have used some judgment at a certain point when they were asking for some very personal information. You dont give them your social security number, credit or bank account number. If these people send you something wanting to give you something they would never need that there are ways of "giving" you something without the need of this information. man what the heck is going on with you

Why are you saying things we already know you might ask? I still carry some of that child like innocence with me that dreams and thinks about things I want to do. I recently received one of these lovely emails promising me 600,000 pounds (roughly $918,000) and I actually found myself believing this was real because everything seemed to look legit. I did not send them any personal info, but I did find myself fantasizing as to what I would do with that money. I know most people think that they would frivolously send it on crap they dont need. For me I dreamed of buying the first home for me and my wife and paying off our 2 cars (granted we dont owe much) and paying for school and then buying the 2 dogs we want. Now I write this because in getting caught up in this made me edge myself closer to freedom. Freedom from having to pay for anything anymore. I wouldnt owe any bills, only taxes every year. My money would really be mine and it would not have to be used to pay off loans for school, or a house, the car, credit card (I dont have credit card debt just trying to make a point really). I now feel like a person who has tasted their first hit of coke or heroin and their face lights up because of the euphoric feeling they just got from that first wonderful hit. I can officially say that I am addicted to that feeling and I want it back. I know the American dream is that anything is possible and after having this taste I want my dream to come true. I dont want to be in my 50's or 60's before it happens. The magic number for me is 300,000.

Trust: An issue for some people

So many people say that once you break trust with someone once thats it they can no longer trust you. What about forgiveness, the chance to make it right. For those of you who say that you can never trust anyone anymore because of one incident you obviously dont know about forgiveness. When got a new mission president he said you have my trust until you break it then thats it. Here was a guy helping us missionaries try to get closer to God and he himself did not seem to grasp the concept of forgiveness that always baffled me. If someone breaks your trust you have every right to be hurt, upset, annoyed, but you should allow them to fix it. They have to be the one to fix it though not you. They have to want to though and for some this is the clincher. I HAD a friend that I was roommates with and good friends with, but he has a long history of screwing over his friends when something "better" comes along. I and many others have witnessed this act numerous times and I myself have fallen victim to his snare. This last time however I had enough and refuse to put up with his nonsense anymore. Women this next part is in no part a reflection on you more of a reflection on moronic males. When this friend got a girlfriend he totally ditched everyone, friends and family alike. He claimed he never changed, but he totally ditches out on everyone and will make excuses to why he cant do anything with any of us anymore when he will drop everything for her. He thinks because everyone else has an issue with his girlfriend that that encompasses everyone. I really dont care about his girlfriend because shes not worth worrying about. Shes not my issue he is my issue and his lack commitment to people that have been there longer then 5 months. I will gladly forgive him when he pulls his head from his rectum and sees that he is screwing people over. I dont ever see it happening so........

Women I now understand that old saying "can't live with them.."

I dont understand how or why certain women are never satisfied. Women can side with one another even if they really dont have a strong relationship with one another or a relationship at all. I think I am to the point were I would be happy in my life knowing I am going to be alone. I have been doing a horrible dance with my partner in crime of the last 5 years and I feel like it may not last to much longer. It's the worst feeling in the world to know you may be close to losing the only true friend you have ever had. On the other hand I cant take much more of being told Im constantly flirting, or feeling that they're never satisfied, cant get over things quickly, but they expect me to and then forget everything I constantly do for her. I by no means physically abuse her, but I think with all the constant let downs I have not been able hold back my mouth. I dont feel that this relationship is far anymore. Its more of becoming all about her and I take the blame for that because I have tried to be the best husband, boyfriend, friend. I try listening to her to helping her get the things she wanted in this world. I know by giving her what she wanted has made her someone else. I by no means deny my blame in this. I never thought I would be the person that would become the screw up in my family, the one that became my father. He left me fatherless, never finished school, always seemed to never want to take responsibility. I always thought my brother would be the one to fall into this mold and now I find myself shocked as I look up at the hole I've created for myself. I see these people that are supposedly happy and wonder if they are really happy or are just putting on a face for the masses. All I and I'm sure everyone else have ever wanted is happiness. I just wanted friends (not tons just a few true ones) that I can count on and have there in my corner. It doesnt appear that it will ever happen. Seems like I am going to be like Bruce Banner (the HULK) forever wondering the world alone.

Cataclysm

Intro:
I'm creating this to just put down thoughts, frustrations, or just to occasionally rant and go off. You don't have to like it, care for it, take it as fact, I just need to get things out or else I might not remember those little moments that come to me.

The new chapter in this world will be starting soon. A milestone has been reached by electing a black president (I didn't vote for him) and soon down the road I'm sure will will have a female president, its only a matter of time. I have no problem voting for a black or female hopeful, but I couldn't honestly vote for Obama because of the things hes done and people he associates with. His man refused to place his hand over his heart during the pledge of allegiance, disregards his own mother who raised him (shes white by the way) and puts on a front about how black people are better. You want to elect a guy who throws his own mother under the bus when she raised you when your own father didn't even care enough for you to stick around (his father was black just in case you didn't know) . Race has nothing to do with this, but what person does that. Says thanks mom for doing the best you could and for still loving me enough to keep me then turns around and tells the world "my mother was horrible and this is pretty much why I can't except that part of my heritage. I'm sorry but you sir should be officially be back handed by ever single mother in the world. I come from a single parent home and I would never run her under the bus. Then there is the fact that he associates with a hate monger also known as his pastor. I've seen some of the and heard some of the crap his pastor slings sometimes. How can you honestly feel an ounce of spirituality by listening to that. All this guy does is scream (some of it not coherent mind you) and these people think their feeling the Holy Spirit. Like lambs to the slaughter and they think its getting them closer to God. To be the president of the free world you have to remember it's for the greater good of only one race, the human race.